


I'm With You

by ibreathethroughwords



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Thrawn Trilogy - Timothy Zahn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Damaged Relationship, Drabble Request, Fix-It, Fuck you Zahn, Gen, I do what I want, Injured Character, Post-Battle of Bilbringi, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:58:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2008377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibreathethroughwords/pseuds/ibreathethroughwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pellaeon had tried to bear that in mind as their partnership with C’baoth threatened to tear apart all the trust they had so carefully built with each other. He’d struggled to be both realistic and optimistic, and when the rebels had shown up at Bilbringi, Pellaeon had placed all his faith in his commander. Look where blind faith had gotten them: Pellaeon, sitting in the sickbay hallway with a dearth of trust in Thrawn, and Thrawn in a bed, surrounded by medics.<br/>—</p><p>
  <i>Rewritten on 10 December, 2017</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rewrite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by an anon for [this ask meme](http://thebestimperialeverofalltime.tumblr.com/post/92527753667/send-me-a-number-and-a-character-pairing-for-a-drabble) on tumblr. Pellaeon and #16, "I'm with you".

Loathe as he was to admit it - even to himself - Pellaeon’s trust in his commanding officer was not as rock solid as it ought to have been over the last year. They had gotten off on the wrong foot. Both would readily admit that. The entire incident regarding the _Kilik Twilight_ had been a stress-inducing nightmare for him and a seemingly enjoyable romp on the surface of the desert planet for the grand admiral. Thrawn’s willingness to waste so much money they didn’t have on an operation for a work of art from a dead planet hadn’t set well with him even if their conscripts had badly needed the training. 

At least it hadn’t been the Empire’s credits Thrawn was throwing at the moss painting.

They argued on a near-daily basis: their earlier arguments had been the worst. Thrawn had told him once, in the quiet aftermath of their worst argument - when he had approached the captain on the observation deck in the dead hours of the night watch with a cup of caf prepared exactly how he liked it and a warm hand on his shoulder - that he was used to his subordinates disagreeing with his methods. None of them had ever been so refreshingly outspoken or passionate about it. 

Pellaeon had tried to bear that in mind as their partnership with C’baoth threatened to tear apart all the trust they had so carefully built with each other. He’d struggled to be both realistic and optimistic, and when the rebels had shown up at Bilbringi, Pellaeon had placed all his faith in his commander. Look where blind faith had gotten them: Pellaeon, sitting in the sickbay hallway with a dearth of trust in Thrawn, and Thrawn in a bed, surrounded by medics.

It wasn't that he was unrealistic, he decided, sitting in the corridor outside Thrawn's sick bay room and waiting for the medics to allow him entry. It was just that, despite knowing Thrawn wasn't right one hundred percent of the time, Pellaeon still had expected everything to go smoothly once it turned out the grand admiral was right. Statistically speaking, it should have. Everything had gone badly, and Pellaeon felt a little guilty for letting Rukh's betrayal and his decision to retreat from Bilbringi shake his confidence in himself and Thrawn so badly.

He felt guilty for allowing himself to have such blind faith to begin with. Having complete faith in one’s leader had gone badly for the Empire once before, as Thrawn was so fond of reminding him. 

Whatever it was they had missed that had led to the Noghri discovering the Empire's betrayal, the consequences had been dire. With both their leader and his second-in-command neutralized by the same attacker, the Empire had lost Bilbringi, lost the CGT array, and the high morale that had come from Thrawn's series of victories prior to the battle. 

It had also nearly lost them the Grand Admiral.

For the past three weeks, he'd been unconscious in sickbay, surrounded by guards and medics as he mended from the surgery that had saved his life. Today, finally, the medics had seen fit to pull Thrawn out of his drug-induced coma, and summoned Pellaeon down from the bridge only to make him wait outside the room a few minutes longer. The captain used the time to silently rehearse the report he had to give one last time, and to firmly remind himself that Thrawn wasn't going to punish him for doing what he thought was right. He’d thought they had lost him: Pellaeon wasn’t losing any more lives. 

The door across from him slid open, and Pellaeon stood as the medics filed out and the guards took their places on either side of the door. The chief medic was the last out of the room, and he drew Pellaeon aside to give a report. “He's stable, and he's too drugged to feel any pain – but he is weak.”

It wasn't unexpected news. Pellaeon was just glad he wasn't dead. “Is he up to having visitors?"

A small smile lifted the corners of the medic's lips. “I'm afraid he rather insisted on it, even after we tried to talk him out of it. If I don't let him see you immediately I'll be demoted the moment he's back on active duty." 

"Tired and frustrated?"

"Very. He's on total bed rest for a few more cycles and didn't take the news very gracefully. Don't let him be like you, Captain, and try to trick anyone into breaking that order."

It had been one time.

“All right,” Pellaeon agreed. Whatever got the medic to go away. “I won't give in to any attempts to disobey."

“Go on then,” the medic said, and moved away as Pellaeon stepped through the doorway.  
The door slid shut behind him, and he moved a little further into the dimly lit room. Thrawn was covered in all white as before, but now it was an unsettling sight. His blood-stained duty uniform was gone, of course; instead, the white wrapped around him came from the bed sheets and the bandages still wrapped around his blue chest. Normally his skin was a darker shade of blue: now he looked far more pale than the captain was used to seeing. Only once had he seen the man lose any of his color, and that had been due to a cold several months ago that had gone around the entire crew and infected the grand admiral as well. Only been a bit of color had been lost, save for his cheeks which had been flushed a fetching shade of lavender the entire time he had been ill. 

At the moment, Thrawn was awake and slightly elevated. Pellaeon approached the edge of the bed, and took a seat next to it when Thrawn waved him to it. They studied each other in silence for a moment, and Pellaeon felt relieved enough at the sight of his commander alive and out of danger, that his shoulders visibly sagged. If one ignored the pale skin, bandages, and medical equipment, to focus on the grouchy face and the bedhead, Thrawn looked like he had been woken up against his will.

“Stop bullying the medical staff,” he scolded, when it felt right to break the silence. “I worked damn hard to earn the title of ‘Most Difficult Patient’ aboard this ship, and I won’t have you usurping it.” 

A weak smile was aimed at him. “My apologies, Captain,” he said. “The CMO did mention that I was behaving more like you than they expected.”

Pellaeon smiled in response, somewhat aware that it was much softer than it should have been. “Hardly a terrible thing, sir.”

“Corellian stubbornness-”

“Could have pulled you through _as well as your own stubbornness has_.” The captain gave him a fond look. “If Corellian stubbornness bothered you you’d have moved your flag to a different ship within a month of your return.”

They stared at each other, each looking perhaps more fond of the other than was wise, until Thrawn seemed to catch hold of a stray thought and frowned. “You refused medical attention?”

“I refused immediate medical attention,” he corrected gently. “There was too much to see to.”

Thrawn broke the eye contact first, closing his eyes and sighing. “There's no good news, is there?”

“Aside from your eventual recovery, sir, I'm afraid not. There was no way I could have pulled a victory out of Bilbringi, and rather than lose more people and ships trying to stop the Rebels, I ordered a retreat.” Sugar-coating the situation wouldn't help, so he opted for bluntness. 

“Rukh?”

“Rukh was executed during his escape attempt. Intelligence is working to figure out exactly how the Noghri figured out they had been betrayed, and all Noghri commando teams on Imperial bases have been taken into custody under tight security.”

Thrawn was quiet for a moment, likely thinking over the situation, and then he opened his glowing red eyes again to look at Pellaeon. “Where are we?”

“In the heart of our territory: the Council of Moffs have been a nuisance since you were attacked. Reminding them that the military does not answer to them, even in your absence, has prevented them from attempting a coup. The rest of the Fleet is spread out. Aside from Bilbringi we've lost Wayland, but the rest of our gains are secure"

Thrawn sighed quietly. “How is morale?”

Morale was the last thing Pellaeon wanted him to worry about right now, but Thrawn had asked. “With the loss of Bilbringi, Mount Tantiss, and Rukh's attempt on your life, there's been a sharp drop in morale. The doubts regarding your skill as a tactician that C'baoth was attempting spread have taken some hold, and this defeat has only served to give credence to those idiotic rumors in the eyes of some of your men.”

Thrawn's lips pressed together, and he shifted a little in the bed. “And what about you, Captain Pellaeon? Where do you stand?”

Where was he on all this? The losses had truly driven home that his commanding officer was just as mortal as the rest of them, but that didn't lessen him in Pellaeon's eyes, not really. Thrawn was still the Empire's best hope, and Pellaeon didn't want to see anything terrible happen to him. He'd learned so much from Thrawn, and in moments where it was just the two of them, Thrawn was genuinely pleasant company. Trust could be rebuilt. It hadn't come out of nowhere before: Pellaeon had needed to get to know him. Without C'boath intentionally driving a wedge between them it would be easier to build it again.

Where did he stand? Pellaeon knew. There was no need for debate. He met Thrawn's eyes, and smiled. “I'm with you, sir,” he said sincerely. “I'm with you until the end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot in the original version of this that was really bothering me. A lot. I went through and fixed it and ended up doubling the size.


	2. The Original

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original, written in July of 2014. It’s fine, but I reread it lately and it needed a lot of love.

Sometime between Tatooine and their failed attack on the Sluis Van shipyards, Pellaeon had learned to trust his new commander. Sometime between their attack on Ukio and the Battle of Bilbringi, that trust had become much more solid. Sometime during the Battle of Bilbringi, that trust had somewhat waned.

It wasn't that he was unrealistic, he decided, sitting in the corridor outside Thrawn's sick bay room and waiting for the medics to allow him entry. It was just that, despite knowing Thrawn wasn't right one hundred percent of the time, Pellaeon still had expected everything to go smoothly. Everything had gone badly, and Pellaeon felt a little guilty for letting Rukh's betrayal and his decision to retreat from Bilbringi shake his confidence in himself and Thrawn so badly.

Whatever it was they had missed that had led to the Noghri discovering the Empire's betrayal, the consequences had been dire. They'd lost Bilbringi, lost the CGT array, and the high morale that had come from Thrawn's series of victories prior to the battle. 

It had also nearly lost them the Grand Admiral.

For the past three weeks, he'd been unconscious in sick bay, surrounded by guards and medics as he mended from the surgery that had saved his life. Today, finally, the medics had seen fit to pull him out of his drug-induced coma, and summoned him down from the bridge only to make him wait outside the room. The captain used the time to silently rehearse the report he had to give, and to remind himself firmly that Thrawn wasn't going to punish him for doing what he thought was right. Better to have temporarily lost the shipyards than to have lost much more than that continuing in a fight he couldn't win. 

The door slid open, and Pellaeon stood as the medics filed out and the guards took their places on either side of the door. The chief medic was the last out of the room, and he drew Pellaeon aside. “He's stable, and he's too drugged to feel any pain – but he is weak.”

It wasn't unexpected news. Pellaeon was just glad he wasn't dead. “Is he up to hearing a report?”

A small smile lifted the corners of the medic's lips. “I'm afraid he rather insisted on it, even after we tried to talk him out of it. If I don't let you report, there are terrible things he has in mind for us all.”

“All right,” Pellaeon said, returning the smile. “I'll go in now then.”

“Go on then,” the medic said, and moved away as Pellaeon stepped through the doorway.

The door slid shut behind him, and he moved a little further into the dimly lit room. Thrawn was wearing all white as before, but now it was an unsettling sight. His uniform was gone, of course; instead, the white came from the bed sheets and the bandages still wrapped around his pale blue chest. He was awake and slightly elevated. Pellaeon approached the edge of the bed, and took a seat when Thrawn waved him to it. They studied each other in silence for a moment, and Pellaeon felt relieved at the sight of his commander alive and out of danger, enough to relax a little. 

Thrawn broke the eye contact first, closing his eyes and sighing. “There's no good news, is there?”

“Aside from your eventual recovery, sir, I'm afraid not. There was no way I could have pulled a victory out of Bilbringi, and rather than lose more people and ships trying to stop the Rebels, I ordered a retreat.” Sugar-coating the situation wouldn't help, so he opted for bluntness. 

“Rukh?”

“Rukh was executed during his escape attempt. Intelligence is working to figure out exactly how the Noghri figured out they had been betrayed, and all Noghri commando teams on Imperial bases have been taken into custody under tight security.”

Thrawn was quiet for a moment, likely thinking over the situation, and then he opened his glowing red eyes again to look at Pellaeon. “Where are we?”

“The edge of the Unknown Regions, for now. I've had to send the _Judicator_ and the _Stormhawk_ back into our territory to defend a couple of systems, but the rest of the Fleet is here.” Pellaeon looked down at his hands. 

“How is morale?”

Morale was probably the last thing Pellaeon felt like worrying about right now, but Thrawn had asked. “With the loss of Bilbringi, Mount Tantiss, and Rukh's assassination attempt, there's been a sharp drop in morale. The doubts regarding your skill as a tactician that C'baoth was attempting spread had taken some hold, and this defeat has only served to give credence to those idiotic rumors in the eyes of some of your men.”

Thrawn's lips pressed together, and he shifted a little in the bed. “And what about you, Captain Pellaeon? Where do you stand?”

Where was he on all this? The losses had truly driven home that his commanding officer was just as mortal as the rest of them, but that didn't lessen him in Pellaeon's eyes, not really. Thrawn was still the Empire's best hope, and Pellaeon didn't want to see anything terrible happen to him. He'd learned so much from Thrawn, and in moments where it was just the two of them, Thrawn was genuinely pleasant company.

Where did he stand? Pellaeon knew. There was no need for debate. He met Thrawn's eyes, and smiled. “I'm with you, sir,” he said sincerely. “I'm with you until the end.”


End file.
